The description of this ad for Ziploc says: “Getting kids out the door in the morning can test any parent’s patience. But what if your child were literally the slowest-moving kid on the planet?”
IF YOUR “KID” IS A SLOTH YOU SHOULD BE SO THANKFUL YOU HAVE A FRICKING SLOTH AS YOUR CHILD YOU UNGRATEFUL LOW-LIFES IF HE DOESN’T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL DON’T BLOODY MAKE HIM JUST LET HIM SLEEP AND JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH HIM WITH WONDERMENT AND AWE HOW COULD YOU EVER WANT ANYTHING ELSE IN LIFE